Things you don't want to hear during surgery

1. "Oops." 

2. "Rats, I forgot my glasses again."
 
3. "Dang it, not again."
 
4. "Hey bring that back!! Bad dog. A human bone is no toy for a dog!"
 
5. "Someone call the janitor, we have a BIG mess again."
 
6. "Shoot, I can't get my arm out of her back. Were going to have to cut
it off." 

7. "And now we place the ape's brain in the subject's body." 

8. "That's cool! Can you make his leg twitch? 

9. "What? They're missing that too? Oh well, I guess we'll have to try how
to remember how to
do surgery." 

10. "What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change?" 

11. "Oops. Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?" 

12. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Shoot- the guy's got two of
'em." 

13. "Could you stop that thing from thumping, it's throwing my
concentration off." 

14. "You forgot what he was in for? Oh well, let's surprise him." 

15. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness." 

16. "Wait a minute. If this is his spleen, then what's that?" 

17. "Hand me that...uh...that uh....thingie." 

18. "Um, is this thing supposed to be moving? Cause I think it's about to
choke the patient."