How do you know you are spending too much time online

1 Tech support calls "YOU" for help 
2 Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL" out loud 
3 you find yourself trying to cock your head 90 degrees when you smile 
4 You  have called out  someone's screen name while making love to your 
significant other. 
5 You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out " 
6 Three words :Carpal Tunnel Syndrome 
7 I you are male and see a female in the "Real" world that you wish to 
meet, your first thought is to  IM her 
8 If you are female and you see a male in the "Real " world that you 
wish to meet your fist thought is that you wish  he'd IM you 
9 You don't understand the humor in the above mentioned #7 and #8 since 
the "real world is at your fingertips. 
10 You have to get a 2nd phone line so you can call Pizza Hut 
11 When you have sex, you no longer are concerned about sexually 
transmitted diseases 
12 You walk into a room. and finding that it has more than 23 people, 
you inform management that there is a error 
13 When looking at signs, you wonder why they are always "yelling" at you 
14 You go up to people you are attracted to in "real life " and ask them for their GIF 
15 Although you don't know what they look like, you become insanely 
jealous of people hitting on your cyber love. 
16 You don't even know what your cyber love looks like 
17 When at work, your boss constantly reminds you that the word i should
be capitalized 
18 You watch TV with the closed captioning on 
19 Your spouse now complains of you moving   you fingers in your sleep 
instead of talking 
20 Your kids are eating cereal morning noon & night 
21 When someone says "What did you say ? you reply "Scroll up " 
22 You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the 
night when your spouse is asleep 
23 You turn down the lights & close the blinds so people won't know 
you're on line again. 
24 You know more about your AOL friends daily routines than you do your own
spouse 
25 You find yourself lying to others about your time on line & when they
complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook 
26 You have an identity crisis someone is using a screen name close to your own 
27 You would rather tell people that your blood shot eyes are from
partying too  much than the truth ( on line all night) 
28 You change your screen name so much that you have to look at your own
profile to see who you are 
29 You go into labour and you stop to type a special eMail to let everyone
know you're going to be away and how you're feeling 
30 You  marry your cyber friend girl friend and you both sit at your own
computers & chat to each other every night from across the room 
31 You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at 
the same time 
32 You understand the humor in all of these jokes because you have 
committed them yourself 
33 Your dog leaves you 
34 You are doing things more & more that you swore you would never do 
when you first got on line 
35 You sign on & immediately get 10 IMs from people who have you on 
their buddy line 
36 You have a map on the wall w/lots of red thumbtacks to mark where 
people are you have met 
37 You look at an annoying person off-line & wish you had your ignore button 
38 You bring a bag lunch & a cooler to the computer 
39 Your significant other kisses your neck while you're chatting & you
think "uh oh cyber sex perve" 
40 You go through "withdrawal" if you are away from the computer for more than a few hours 
41 Your buddy list has over 100 people on it 
42 You understand what BIF ISO BIM means. (I wonder how many will get 
this one..if so you've been hanging out in *strange places* ) 
43 You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get on line
before you have your 1st cup of coffee 
44 You have to inject no-doze into your butt to keep it awake 
45 You have your computer set so it goes directly into AOL's welcome screen 
46 You wait 6 hours on line for a certain "special " person to 
come home from work 
47 You don't know where the time has gone 
48 You end sentences wit 3 (or more) periods while writing letters by hand 
49 Your relationship on line has gone farther than any real one you have had 
50 You get up at 2 AM to go to the bathroom but turn on the computerinstead 
51 You don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo 
52 You enter a room & 23 people greet you with [hugs] or ** kisses ** 
53 You stop typing whole words and use things like ppl dunno, and lemme 
54 Your voice mail answering machine message is "BRB" leave you s/n & I 
will TTYL" 
55 you type faster than you think 
56 You got your psychiatrist addicted to AOL too & are now undergoing 
therapy in private rooms instead of at his office 
57 You want to be buried with your computer when it dies or vice versa 
58 You actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted 
59 You can actually read & follow all the names of the cast that scrolls
up your TV screen at the end of a movie 
60 People say " if it weren't for you super reflexes in your eyes &
fingers 
you would have been classified as a vegetable 
61 You dream in "text" 
62 Being called a Newbie is "MAJOR" insult 
63 there is absolutely no interesting chat in any room & you're really
bored 
64 You don't want to leave in case you miss something 
65 you double click your TV remote 
66 You can now type over 70 wpm 
67 You think about starting a 12 step recovery group for AOL junkies