How men think

Women have spent most of the last two millennia trying to understand the
way men think. Here it is, finally. Note: All "real men" answer "C" to all
of these questions. Knowing this, women will have come far in
understanding men and enriching their own lives if they carefully review
the "C" answers

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1.   Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you
are the first human they encounter.  As a token of intergalactic
friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated
device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply
of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently
eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth.
You decide to:
     A.   Present it to the President of the United States.
     B.   Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
     C.   Take it apart.

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2.   As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you
miss the most?
           A. Innocence.  B. Idealism.  C. Cherry bombs.

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3. When is it okay to kiss another male?

      A.   When you wish to display simple and pure affection without
regard for narrow minded social conventions.
      B.   When he is the Pope.  (Not on the lips.)
      C.   When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the
only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business reasons,
you must have him killed.

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4.   In your opinion, the ideal pet is:

           A. A cat.  B. A dog.  C. A dog that eats cats.

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5.   You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and
intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday
afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football
game; she's reading the papers when she suddenly, out of the clear blue
sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you but she can no longer
bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She
says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you
believe that you have some kind of future together.  What do you say?
     A.   That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but
you don't want to rush it.
     B.   That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot
honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting
commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
     C.   That you cannot believe the Bears called a draw play on third
and seventeen.

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6.   Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to
spend the rest of your life with her sharing the joys and the sorrows the
world has to offer, come what may.  How do you tell her?

    A.   You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
    B.   You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her
name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her
hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
   C.   Tell her what??

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7.   One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to
get your three children ready for school.
       Your first question to her is:

    A.   "Do they need to eat or anything?"
    B.   "They're in school already?"
    C.   "There are three of them?"

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9.   What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the
fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years
before they finally got to the Promised Land?

    A.   He was being tested.
    B.   He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they
finally got there.
    C.   He refused to ask for directions.

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10.  What is the human race's single greatest achievement?

          A. Democracy.  B. Religion.  C. Remote control.