This is not a hoax!!!

I swear this is true -- my friend emailed it to me, so it MUST be!

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's (sent
to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people celebrating the
fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a
friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been
served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is
predictable, since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in
Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change their
name to KFC). Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep, and when he awoke he
was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and
when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD BEEN STOLEN. He
saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use
his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus
on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail
entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was
a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global
disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the
$250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates.
(It's true -- I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES
HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000
if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.) The poor man then tried
to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but a voice on
the line first asked him to press #90, which unwittingly gave the bandit
full access to the phone line at the guy's expense. Then, reaching into
the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around
which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital -- the one where that
little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for
everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer
Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives.  I
sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the
shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people,
you will have good luck but for 10 people only you will only have OK luck
and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR
SEVEN YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the
hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights
on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as
part of a gang initiation.

Send this to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will
receive 4 green M&Ms-if you don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble will
report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: you
will get sick from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your
spouse/mate will develop a skin rash from using the antiperspirant which
clogs the pores under your arms, and the U.S.  government will put a tax
on your e-mails forever. I know this is all true 'cause I read it thanks
to http://www.iamperfect.net