An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist & more

An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing the merits of
a mistress.

The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of
being discovered.

The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce,
bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems.

The computer scientist says, "It's the best thing that's ever happened to
me. My wife thinks I'm with my mistress. My mistress thinks I'm home with
my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!"

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My Will

A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people
mentioned in the will:

"To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times,
as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million."

The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked
after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her
the yacht, the business and $1 million."

The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me,
argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in
my will - well you are wrong.   Hi Dan!"

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Three old men

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily  functions.
One seventy year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every
morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee. " An eighty  year
old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and
grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel  movement."
The ninety year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I
crap like a cow." "So what's your problem?" asked the others. "I don't
wake up until nine.