Barbie and Blondes

Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it's his
daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the
mall, runs to the toy store and says to the shop assistant, "How much is
that Barbie in the window?"

In a condescending manner, she says "Which Barbie?"  She continues, "We
have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for
$19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for
$19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for
$265.00". 

Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are
only $19.95?" 

"That's obvious" the sales lady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's
house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture.


Blondes

A blonde walks up to a Coke machine in a Las Vegas casino, puts in a few
coins, and out pops a Coke. She puts some more coins into the machine, and
another can of soda pops out. She keeps putting in coins, and cans of soda
keep coming out. 

A guy walks up behind her and says, "Can I please use the machine?" 

She says, "Get lost! Can't you see I'm winning?"